The Wounding. The Loving. The Remaining.

“Wounds heal. Love lasts. We remain.”

— The Nightingale

I just finished listening to author Kristin Hannah’s compelling audiobook, The Nightingale. It captures the story of two sisters whose courage, sacrifice, and unbreakable love illuminate the quiet heroism that endured even in the darkest days of France’s Nazi occupation, when war pressed in on every sacred moment of life. This historical narrative changed me, and I am going to need some intentional conversations over dinner with friends to begin to truly understand the brokenness portrayed.

The audiobook ends with six words (quoted above) that carry a quiet, powerful sentiment and resonate with me concerning caregiving and one’s ability to endure and fight to remain present. These are the kind of words that sound sweet and simple upon first hearing but hit with emotional weight the longer you reflect on them.

We remain. Yes, caregivers remain. Through all the pain, unhealed medical diagnoses, and disillusionments, love lasts and we remain. I am sure the author wasn’t hoping one day a recovering caregiver mom would be so bold as to claim these words for herself. The two sisters’ pain as well as the pain of an entire community is obviously more brutal than what I have experienced, but I hope she will be honored by this caregiver who was touched by her thoughts.

So, once again, I come to these uncomfortable questions:

How do you process and move forward with your life when there are no acceptable answers? When things hit the fan and your plan is destroyed, what do you do?

I will not wrap up pain, grief or heartache with a neat little bow for you. I can’t do that. It would be nice if I could, but it would be a false gift. I only offer these few thoughts for your consideration.

Wounds heal.

It may not happen right away, but eventually the body and your heart will recover; in life, in love and in caregiving. Don’t let pain have the final word.

Love lasts.

This is the truth that can ground you. No matter where you go or what circumstances change, love imprints upon you even through the distance, suffering or loss.  

We remain.

You can survive not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. The pain on your journey may injure you, but it doesn’t need to erase you. You will survive and thrive, in time.

In this life and on your caregiving journey, you will hurt and you will feel broken. The Nightingale reminds us that ordinary people, caregivers, and those called to serve, whether on the front lines of a devastating war or in the quiet corners of everyday life, are making history and shaping the world through courage, tenderness, and the choices no one else sees. Through it all, you will heal, love and survive. This has been true throughout history, and it will be true even now for you and me.

Hold on, my friend.

Listening Library: Adagio for Strings, conducted by Thomas Schippers with the New York Philharmonic in 1965

https://youtu.be/b8G9vRqq3RI?si=Du4YRIUzrlvAF4H9

This beautiful and deeply moving piece shaped my love for classical music and taught me that sound alone can reach the deepest places of sorrow and grief in ways words never could. I hope you will take a moment to listen.